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your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?

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claud
10 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: November 14, 2006 @ 1:27 PM 
Sorry hate the word fat.. but true. MY husband hates fat.. He is now distancing himself fromme.. I weigh 280 ..I used to weigh 140.0.

Basically he does not love me.. anymore.. too fat.. I have accepted that
and joined a help group//

I married the wrong guy.. Anyone one else ????
 
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newslady
530 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: November 15, 2006 @ 10:30 AM 
If your husband doesn't love you for who you are, then he needs to examine his priorities! There is more to love than loving someone because of their figure!!!
You take care of you and make lifestyle changes for yourself, not for your husband. You should talk to your husband and find out what his problem is, maybe you are better off without him! Don't let his problems drag you down!

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"In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back."
-Charlie Brown
 
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coconuts
482 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: November 15, 2006 @ 2:21 PM 
I am really sorry to hear your are feeling so low.
I think we should not be afraid of the word fat. I am fat. It is not perfect but this is where I am now.
It seems to me that you need to have some serious conversations with your husband about this issue. If he has told you that he hates fat, well to me it is not very pro active from him and very hurtful.
I don't know, you need to start to free yourself from all this negativity he may put upon you. Look at yourself and ask yourself what do you want in life and just live it. Being fat does not mean you have not the right to be happy.
When problems occur it is easy to blame it on the "fat" it seems to me there is always more to the story.
I put on 60lbs since meeting my husband and he still loves me. I know that what he wants for me is to be healthy (so I can live longer and nag him until the end of times LOL!).
Good luck with everything! And like LOreal says " your are worth it "!
 
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Ladyhawke1066
151 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: March 19, 2007 @ 1:13 PM 
If you lose weight, it should be for you and your health.

Also, I can't help but ask...... what does he see when he looks in the mirror. No-body is perfect!

God bless you and good luck!

Patty

 
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pinupdreams
2 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: April 18, 2007 @ 2:32 AM 
wow what an a hole for reals, and no i do not apologize for the term. this was one of my fears before getting married, that the man i married would care about those type of things. thankfully i found myself someone who lifts my spirits each day no matter what. i really do wish you the best of luck and kick that waste of space of a man to the curb!
 
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crazythings_03
3 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: June 8, 2007 @ 5:43 PM 
First off, let me just say, when yo ulove someone you love them--regardless of flaws.

I know exactly what you are going through. I currently live with a man with a similiar mindset. First he would start with small comments here and there. Then it got more frequent. At first I stayed depressed all the time. I couldn't figure out why he moved in with me if I was such an embarressment.
One day my mother set me aside and talked to me about it. I then realized it was more of a control thing. All I needed was an outside prospective.
That next time he brought it up I simple told him that if he wasn't happy, he could leave. I also let him know that I would never be supermodel small and didn't wanna be.
It made me feel so good.
One of my friend's dad said it best when he said "Looks faid with time--thats one thing you can count on. So fall in love with the person and not what they look like cuz in the end that's what you're left with--the person"
 
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Baronesa
32 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: July 27, 2007 @ 7:40 PM 
My exhusband use to constantly complain about my weight. In retrospect I realize that it was due to a lot of his own insecurities and issues.

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~Luz

Listen to the Mustn'ts
Listen to Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts.
Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.
Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein

 
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vintagegirl24
236 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: August 13, 2007 @ 1:46 AM 
Man oh man. You know, maybe he needs to be reminded of his vows because I'm pretty sure the minister/priest etc did not ask him to vow to love you as long as you were 140. Yeah, you know he's not perfect, no one is. He obviously has insecurities and he is focusing on something that he knows will hurt you and may be a source of your insecurity which is just cruel. In addition, I'm glad you're seeking a support group but HE needs help. Have you at all talked about couple's counseling? Whatever you do if you decide to lose weight make sure it's for you and not him.
I am lucky because I met my fiance when I was a size 20 and I have gained about 30 pounds and am now a size 24 and he is fine with it and completely complementary all the time. He supports me when I diet, he supports me when I don't. God, I only hope your husband realizes what he's doing and you are able to heal the pain he has caused and if, worse case scenario, you end up moving on I know you will find a MAN (and it takes a man to appreciate a curvy woman's beauty not a child like how your husband is behaving) who loves you for you, 140 or 280. Bless you and judging from your pics you are gorgeous.
 
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Desire02
442 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: August 19, 2007 @ 1:12 PM 
on the flip side

ive had a boyfriend find a can of slim fast and get upset, as if he wanted me to stay overweight.

didnt quite understand that. i think its important to be healthy. the bottom line is they should want you happy and healthy
 
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allthatjazz
1139 total posts
 Subject: your husband /boyfriend get on you for being fat?Posted: August 30, 2007 @ 11:33 PM 
I'm still amazed by this....my hubby stays off the subject of weight , at least he did until I brought it up and asked why he never ever said anything.
this is what he said to me, when he was younger he was built on the small side and would get teased or people would comment on it and it really made him feel bad....he would never want anyone to feel that way about themselves.....it made me stop and think about the other side of things.
of course, then he kinda laughed, and said .....'now about that temper of yours, then there's your taste in music, and how you ramble on, and I've never been so wrong since I've been married to you, so all in all......."
"ok, I get the point'
 
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